~Love Is My Life~

::I love Deniz::

2011-12-03T22:31:00.000+08:00

I have been suffering from Depression again but then, I am glad that I have Deniz right here for me. Even though he is not here physically, but when I talked to him, I felt a lot better than before. Yes, I wanted to hurt myself again like a few years ago. But then, I don't want to either because of Deniz. I don't want to make him sad either.

I am glad that Deniz is my boyfriend and husband because he does understand me. He doesn't have to know how I feel but he understands and kept trying to talk to me. Not wanting me to hurt myself again. I am also sorry to make him feel sad too...

I love you so much Deniz... <3

::Long Time::

2011-11-20T23:44:00.001+08:00

Hey, it's been a long time since I have posted anything. I was thinking to post some of the things that I have been through in here. Well, I have entered a Polytechnic and it was not that bad but slowly I am regretting about being in there. I am feeling too tired and stressed out. Since it's all fast pace and more active going type of things.

Deniz and I have been doing so well. He is really caring about my well-being so I am glad he is here for me. Oh, I took my driving lessons. My first practical lesson was yesterday and it was so funny and nervous. I kept bumping the car into the wall and I really don't know how to turn the car properly. ==" I think I am going to fail T.T

Sometimes, I turned too fast or too slow if not just misjudge the distance. But I am getting the hang of it. It was quite fun too and the instructor was pretty kind and patient. He was funny too. Kept singing in the car and talking to me. It was a nice experience. There are 33 subjects that I need to pass so I am really nervous about it.

Common tests are coming for my school and well, I am afraid too. Since I have a few new subjects which I can never get into my head. ==" Not Mathematics but Engineering Mechanics which is purely Physics!! D< And also Electrotechnology. ==" OMG!

I think I am happy if I ever passed the two of them... Oh well, these are what have been happening to me. Oh and I have lost one kilogram!! Woohoo!! <3

:: 小悦悦 ::

2011-10-23T21:28:00.000+08:00

大家都已经看了佛山18个人忽略一名小女孩被两辆车碾压的新闻。现在的人已经不一样了。世界变了，所有的东西或者有生命的人都需要钱。有钱有用吗？

我只能说我身为华人，感到非常惭愧与丢脸。竟然有如此冷漠的人类。

小悦悦，请你好好地安息吧。你永远都会在大家的心中。

::Animal Abuse::

2011-10-14T17:31:00.000+08:00

This world is seriously sick in the mind. How can anyone abuse an animal which did nothing to you? Not even your pet will hurt you when they just want to play. Stray animals just want something to eat so they eat the food your dropped on the floor but some people threw stones, stepped on them for no reason. Is it because they ate the food that you dropped on the floor?

ARE YOU GOING TO PICK IT UP AND EAT IT AGAIN? YOU TELL ME.

Animals are also living beings that know pain and sufferings. Just that they can't talk like us, humans, so you think that they are stupid? When a mother cat licks her baby kittens clean, it's like our mother used to bath us clean when we are little. So what's the FUCKING difference?

We are educated but most humans have no heart anymore. When a mother cheetah taught her cubs to hunt, it's like our mother taught us on how to survive on the cruel side that modern world had to offer. So where's the FUCKING difference?

Why are people treating animals like that? They are just like that, they have personalities like us do. So why? You hate a type of animal then just walk away. It won't eat you or anything. Every Life on Earth is precious. So why?

Our religion teaches us to be good, not to only humans but anything and everything that is alive. Treasure everything or anything even if it's not alive. So why? You tell me. Are you a God to decide whose life to be taken away?

::Beauty::

2011-10-09T15:12:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, it's been long since I have blogged.

Well, today's content is pretty taboo, not many people like to talk about this but I still want to bring the awareness of this. How many Sexual Orientations do you know?

Bisexuality
Pansexuality
Asexuality
Heterosexuality
Homosexuality

These are that I know. Have you seen my profile on my blog yet? Noticed that I am a Pansexual? That means that I am a girl who doesn't really care what gender you are in. No matter, you're a boy or girl or even a transgender. So for me, is that I am happy with anyone who can make me happy, comfort me whenever I need someone to support. As long as you're a human, I will love you as who you are and not what you are. I don't care what you are but who you are.

Let me ask you another question again.
Who is the most beautiful person you have ever seen?

Your parents / your grandparents / your spouse.
Someone who sacrificed just for the sake of YOU.
An old soldier who had survived many wars, tortures.
Someone who had survived abuse and stepped out to get a new life.
Someone who had got over critical illnesses.

Do you know any one of them? A married couple, the husband is always see his wife beautiful without her make up and that's love. The unconditional love that your parents gave. No matter what you do, as long as you're a good son or daughter, it's more than enough. How many parents really want to see their own kids in jail or get hang or get the electric chair?

Someone sacrificed their own life for you to live on. They gave you something in their body which is vital to you. For you to live on. An eye, liver, heart, bone marrow.

An old soldier who had been through so much. Tortures, brotherhood crumbled. Friends that had been shot right in front of him. He knows his buddies are in front of him but he can't do anything to save them.

People who had survived the most extremes in the modern life. Sexual, physically and emotionally abuses. Can you survive all those? You said you can but said is SO MUCH EASIER than done.

People who had admitted their own sexuality are strong, honest. People who survived different stages of extremes in life are strong and all of these people are beautiful. They are the most beautiful people in the world. They aren't models, they aren't the smartest but they are the most bravest people in the world. Beauty is hidden within. Not the face but the actions and their genuine feelings towards themselves and others.

::Bicycle::

2011-09-23T23:47:00.000+08:00

Long time no see.

Well, anyway, when I was returning home from my dad's store, a kid was on a bicycle and I did hear someone calling out, "Excuse me!" But I thought it was someone else, so I ignored it. But then, that's when I heard someone stopping. It sounded like slippers being dragged on the ground. That's when I turned around. It was the kid.

When he rode his bicycle past me, I just said, "What the fuck, no bell?" He turned back and looked at me. I mean even the coolest bike as the mountain bicycle has a bell, and has a full working brakes. That kid removed his brakes from the bicycle. What the hell?

Does that makes him looks cool or stupid? Why should you remove the brakes and bell? Without the brakes, you will not stop in time with just your feet. Without bell, you can't warn others. You can by yelling but, what if the person is listening to his or her music or just plain ignoring you? What if you're at a very noisy place? The horns of the vehicles can win your win, no doubt.

If you want to be cool, be smart. Not be stupid. Nobody is going to like stupid people. =="

::Catch up with Old Pals::

2011-09-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

Man, I finally met up with some of my primary school friends. We went to Seoul Garden in Causeway Point to eat and well, the food was not really that nice, not what I was expected but how would I know anyway? I ate there for the very first time in my life. Lol.

My friends and I were talking about lots of things during our primary school life and it did trigger me to think about the past. It was kind of retard but funny at the same time. We were laughing about lots of things during our dinner together. Most of my friends had changed so much.

I almost can't recognize one of my male friends already. It was pretty cool to see them all again. Even though there were only 6 of us, we did have fun. Maybe one day, we will meet up again and have dinner somewhere. ^^

::New Look::

2011-09-01T00:57:00.000+08:00

Finally, I found a new blogskin ^^

My old blogskin was kind of dark so I changed into a lighter colour one, giving the others the feeling of peace and serene. I also added a new song, by Luka. So please enjoy my blog. ^^

::The Past::

2011-08-07T19:29:00.002+08:00

Everything is gone.
I already forgot about it.
I don't have to remember or even need to remember.
You may feel disappointed, but it's a life cycle.
I don't mind if you have forgotten me.
There were things that worth remembering but I don't care anymore.
I won't remember anything that is insignificant to me.
Maybe the fun times, but I could remember with the slightest details.
A blur view of what had happened.
Nothing more.
You may think I am cold but it's the truth.
The past is gone now.
Nothing will change that because time can never be reversed.
Thank you for the times.

::Love::

2011-08-07T19:28:00.002+08:00

Sometimes love hurts.
That's because we think too much on how to establish a never ending love.
If a couple ever break up... We should be like this to be free.

Let go of him/her because we love each other...
Bless their path of happiness because we used to love each other...
And thank him/her of giving her/him a chance to love each other...

::Sometimes::

2011-08-07T19:27:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I should really leave and forget those stupid memories.

When I am good to them, I got back stabbed.

When I am bad to them, I have haters lurking around.

Then when they die, it's none of my business.

You can fuck off but I don't really care anymore.

I have had enough and sadly, most of the people that I have known are bad ones.

A strong wall is built around me so if you dare to break through, I will show you the real me.

::Deniz and I::

2011-08-07T19:26:00.002+08:00

There are so many things that we can't do right now.
Love hurts because we are so close yet so far.
There are times that I feel hurt because he was not here for me.
He could not know how many tears I have shed.
I have no idea of what he is doing there.
I could only prayed that he will always be happy for whatever he is doing there.
And I know he would want me to be happy too.
There are so many things that I want to talk to him about.
There are people who look down on both of us.
There are people who can't trust the love that we have.
It's ok.
We will pull it through right?
For now, I am always one click away.
For the future, I will always be there.
No matter what happened, there are things that we can't control.
There are things that we could not say or see.
But there are things that we can feel and sense.

::Live On::

2011-07-08T23:23:00.000+08:00

I have abandoned my life of the past in IMVU. All of the dramas and misfortune. The day after meeting Deniz, I promised myself and him, I will live on with him. I will hold his hand and go on with him. All I want to do now is to live my life with him. No matter IMVU or RL, as long as he is with me, I will never give up.

There are so many things that I want to do with him. So giving up is not an option or a choice. I want and I need to be with him. I am crazy about him. Deniz, you have made me so madly in love with you. There are not enough words in the world to describe the love that you have given me. How can I repay you? I want to be the best girlfriend that you ever had. Not sex like what other people think. But by the love that I can show you. Cooking, taking care of you, helping you and holding your hand through your life with me.

I will never let go of you unless you want me to. I will always right there when you need someone to talk to. I love you so much Deniz. Please be with me forever.

Seni Seviyorum, Deniz. <3

::Tired::

2011-07-01T11:49:00.000+08:00

I have been really tired of school recently and seriously wanted to skip school. I don't know but I really want to skip school and just go to work. Not sure if I can do it since my parents would be against it. What should I do...?

I am really confused and not sure. I was happy when I got into Polytechnic but now, I am regretting... Life's here is not easy and also stressful. Oh well, wish that I won't be "dead" when I graduated.

::Results::

2011-06-28T08:11:00.000+08:00

I had some of my tests results. I got 85/100 for my Bridging Mathematics and 63/100 for my Auto-CAD Drawing. Even though it's not good enough but I will try harder on my next final examinations. There are things that I need to learn. So I really have to back it up and stand up to do whatever I can to get the marks right.

And well, I am starting to dislike some of my classmates but oh well. Life has ups and downs so I don't want to bother them either. So I will just keep quiet and let them be. I don't hold unnecessary "grudges". I think that's the right word to use.

Other than nothing else from my classmates. Oh, there is one classmate that had been helping me with Mathematics so I am grateful to her. She is very nice and 2 of her friends helped too. So I am glad that I have them around if I have any question to asked.

::2 Years::

2011-06-25T01:09:00.000+08:00

It's been two years since I have dated with Deniz in IMVU. Even though it's in IMVU, I still love him. I have feelings for him and I don't want to break up with him. Sheesh, touch wood, I never want to break up with him. He is the one for me. I really love him and nothing will change that.

We argued, we fight, we kissed and we made up. <3 It's just part of relationship. I really appreciate all the things that he had done for me. Even though it's in the internet, I still care because someone who is willing to share the feelings. I trust someone who opened up to me. No matter what happened I will always love him.

There are so many things that we have planned to do when we met in real life. I am really excited to see him and will always be waiting for him here. Whenever, he needs someone to talk to, I will be there to listen, even though I doubt he will. ^^" He is old enough to handle his problems so I don't have to worry so much about him.

However, I made him worried so much before x.x He listened to me and he did give me some advices. I appreciate all that. This holiday, I have been trying to learn on how to cook. I am a girl so I have to learn on how to cook and it was fun! I made pancakes, potato salad, baked rice, soup and potato pancakes, a German-styled breakfast!

So I want to improve my cooking and be Deniz's personal cook and ... Possibly... His wife. >///< Ok, he and I are still young to get married but well, that's my wish and dream >w>. Which girl doesn't want to be with the person she loved most? ^^

::Fucked Up::

2011-06-23T21:49:00.000+08:00

I hate people whom looked down on things that you seriously love to do. So what if it has low income. As long as you like it and you're happy everyday. You don't like it then might as well, don't do it. Only forcing people to do what others expected to do is shit.

But in the modern, who cares? As long as you can earn enough, you have the say. As long as you have the fucking money, you can have everything. Love, Sex, Power, Fame. Many may said that it's not true but it's the truth RIGHT NOW. Face it, this is reality. When we are sad, we have to hide it. That's because some people will say. "Why should you be sad? I am doing all these for your own good." Fuck that theory.

You can say that I am mad. However, nothing will change my mind. Parents don't understand their children at all most of the time. Pushing them over the limits and causing them to commit suicide. Why don't you just talk to your children for ONCE!? When you already talked to them, you forget? Wow, Parents are cheaters. That's why now I find it hard to trust my parents anymore.

I am just a money tree for them. Once I have a job and have a stable income, I am their money slave already. The only thing I will do is repay all the fees that they provided me, and I will just leave them as they are. I doubt that they even need me as their Daughter. Caring? Not so in my eyes.

Many times, they had demoralized me of my dreams and my grades. I am not genius. I don't know computer programming or financing. So what the fuck do you want me to do? I only know some things that I have learned since young and in school. I have no interest in programming or financing. So, leave it. I hate it and I will never do things that I hate. Fucking hate it.

I love Digital Arts, my parents hate it. Wow.Then, don't give birth to a daughter whom love arts. Easy enough. Go to the hospital and be the god to make your own child, using custom DNA? Easy and it should be cheap for parents like that.

::Sick::

2011-06-13T01:30:00.000+08:00

I am sick again... Sheesh, why must I be sick during the holidays? I missed talking with Deniz since we hardly chat because of his extra class... I was looking forward to the day that we can chat the whole night together... Now he kept disconnected from the net ><

I love Deniz so much... I really missed him... I am sick and also... I am love-sick <3

::Pledge::

2011-06-10T22:32:00.000+08:00

The thing I realized　

only after I hurt you

I was looking for the number of faults in you　

when we should have looked at each other

Our days were buried in small lies　

So that we can fight the doubts

Our hearts know the meaning of losing each other　

This second winter is standing still

You are lost because you cannot see tomorrow　

Raising your voice you were crying

Without being able to find any words I just caught your tears

Wrapped in loneliness the days soaked both of us

We were repeatedly looking for understanding　

I can feel it deeply once again

It's no lie when I said that I felt eternity

I will certainly be by your side

I don't need "I love you" anymore

If only you'd stay forever by my side

I want to be broken by you

Who exhausted your voice by crying

All the words from the beginning to the end were said to you

So that you won't let go of these arms

The same dream that stood by our side washed us both away

The small lies change their shapes and dissolve into a white breath of air

So that we won't forget the meaning of losing each other　

It doesn't matter how many times my heart is stabbed

I leave this "goodbye" right here and move forward

I won't lose you once again

So that we can assure ourselves of our love we both had to see sorrow

Even if we both end up vanishing tomorrow　

It's okay to not cry anymore

Someday we will change into two people that pass like the seasons

Even if there will be nights when you will be frozen from sadness

Don't forget

Nothing will ever end

In a deep dream

::South River;江南::

2011-06-06T23:13:00.002+08:00

The story is about a young man being reminded of a girl that he loved when he was younger. He was reminded of his life with her as he stood beside the romantic scenery of the Jiang Nan river in the misty season.

And as he stood there recalling, he remembered why he loved her and due to his other pursuits in life, they have seperated. And it was only at that moment, standing beside the river, he realizes that he has been lying to himself. He knows then his love for her was deeper than he thought possible.
It was also at that moment, he realized that he was already to late to turn back the clock. He broke down....tries to bury that thought...only to be interupted by the shattering sound coming from his heart that paralyzed him with pain and sorrow.

Below is an attempt to bring to life what the song is about to someone who does not understand mandarin. And some point it may stray from its literal meaning inorder to present a more precise feel of what that sentense wants you to feel.

PRESENT
风到这里就是粘, 粘住过客的思念
Here comes the wind, clinging to the thoughts of this wanderer

雨到了这里缠成线, 缠着我们流连人世间
Here comes the rain, stringing my thoughts to what I left behind.

RECOLLECTION
你在身边就是缘, 缘份写在三生石上面
We were destined to meet, as sure as fate carved in stone.

爱有万分之一甜
Love holds all emotions , and sweetness is but a fraction.

宁愿我就葬在这一點
And yet for sweetness, I forgo all others. Till death do us part.

圈圈圆圆圈圈天天年年天天的我,深深看你的脸
Time and again, I beheld your face,

生氣的溫柔埋怨的溫柔的臉
Be it in rage, be it in regret. It is a face of love.

不懂愛恨情愁煎熬的我們, 都以為相愛就像風雲的善變
We were too young...
Too young to understand the pain love can bring,
too naive to think love is temporal...

相信愛一天抵過永遠, 在這一剎那凍結了時間
Believing that one day together is greater then eternity apart.
Willfully hoping for that one day to stand still.

不懂怎麼表現溫柔的我們, 還以為殉情只是古老的傳言
We took for granted..
We express not our love, thinking "till death to us part" is but a myth.

PRESENT
離愁能有多痛痛有多濃
Seperation!! Oh, how deep the sorrow?..how deep the pain..!!

當夢被埋在江南煙雨中
And now...as I stood at the misty river south, I bury that dream.
心碎了才懂
Realizing what I lost, my heart shatters....

::Polytechnic Life (One Month)::

2011-05-31T00:17:00.000+08:00

One month had passed in my life of Polytechnic stage and it was freaking stressful. I have been bottled up a lot of emotions in my heart and I only told those matters to my boyfriend. Talking about my boyfriend, we have been together for almost 2 years. <3 Next month, will be our 2 years anniversary <3 I love him so much day after day and even I got a name change token in IMVU for him.

Now he is getting used to his name, hehe. Glad he is happy and at least, I made him happy ^^ Back to Polytechnic life again, it's stressful. I have already common tests coming up and there are things that I still don't understand because I have wasted two years time in ITE. But there are basics that I still remember, for example, Mathematics and Naval Architecture. Deniz is having his special test this week too, so we are in studying mood for this week. I have been lots of stress too, but I will try to work my schedule out.

I still need to spend time to relax too right? Can't always keep on reading like a walking zombie with an intellectual brain. Some parents just never understand. ~_~ Forcing kids to study like a robot. It may be good, and it may be bad. Oh well, Ciao.

::Polytechnic Life (Beginning)::

2011-04-26T23:25:00.001+08:00

It's weird because maybe I don't get used to it. I have the most embarrassed day of my life. That's because I was in another class' lesson just because that I arrived too early and be glad that the teacher allowed me to stay in there for an hour to do the things I want. I got into Tennis and it was hard but fun. ^^

And just passed Deniz and I's anniversary. It's the 22th! I love him so much. Even though it's a game but I want him in real... I need him more than anything... >///<

::16th April::

2011-04-16T12:40:00.000+08:00

Yay~ It's my 19th birthday today. My dad organized a BBQ party for me and Deniz... Sent me a message... I was crying again but not a sad one. It was a happy one. His message was so touching and emotional. I love him so much...

Some of my friends wished me a happy birthday on facebook. I am really glad and happy. ^^ They are the best in my Secondary School life. ^^

::Tons::

2011-04-12T01:06:00.001+08:00

Ok, today, nothing much. However, there is a post in my IMVU Pulse which made me think twice. People have feelings and most of the time, there are people who are not sensitive enough. That might make people get hurt. Now come to think of it, I have many friends in IMVU but in the end, only about a handful are truthful to me. I really appreciate it. They are the best.

There are times that people would cause drama and one thing that is being said in a wrong way will be remember in the heart forever. IMVU, Second Life are like another life from the RL. We need to relax and IMVU is not just a game. People put their feelings into it. Sometimes, people just feel lonely and wanting to get to know people around the world. That's what I did.

That's how I met my boyfriend. I do not know when we could meet up but, I know that I love him dearly. I may have made him sad in the past, but I want to change that. I want him to be happy. IMVU is not a game because it's another life for us. There is no "Restart" button. There is no "Game Over". Once the person is gone, she/he is gone. She/he isn't going to come back.

I have been in Roleplaying groups before and it was kind of fun. It is a good way to improve English too. You can see all the Pros with their descriptive type of writing and talking. That spurs me to write some stories too. IMVU isn't just all about chatting, but also learning languages. My boyfriend is a Turkish, my bestie is from Bosnia. I can learn some from both of them. Best of many worlds. The world is so small and connected with the thing called "Internet."

Every game is the same. Sometimes, the people you met around the world, understand you more than those in the Real Life. Being an idiot in the virtual world, sometimes, make people think that you're an idiot in Real Life as well. It's a warning to those who caused Drama and Thefts in IMVU. If you don't know the very thing called "Paypal", then you're totally a no-life idiot. IMVU, Second Life needs the Developers to be there to create and earn money.

You can earn by making Virtual Products. Otherwise, how do you get the items in World of Warcraft from their official website? That's because you paid to play. It's like IMVU. So get it straight. Anyway, any online games are not just a game. There are people with feelings behind the screens. If you want to act tough, then don't be a coward and come forward. Show yourself.

Deniz and I... Have been together for almost 2 years and I can't wait to meet him. As well as my friends. I don't mind taking some times out and meet each other. It will be fun and get to know each other. ^^

::What a Day::

2011-03-25T21:51:00.002+08:00

This is the very first time that I met a customer which really made me so mad. This is in RL, not the GASR or anything. One Top-Up Credits to her phone is $10. I saw her gave me $10 and she was waiting for change. I told her it's $10, so everyone thinks it's fine, right? Now here's the problem, she thinks that she gave me $50 and I need to give her back the change. I was like, "No, you gave me a $10. Not $50." Then, she started yelling in Malay, a language which I don't understand. Then, she showed me her purse which has one $10 and one $5 dollar note. I was like, "Why didn't you give me that $10 rather than the $50?" == Then, I called my dad and my dad came down to the store. He totally cussed at her. XD And the thing was that by her actions, she was going to the market. I was thinking why must she comes here and used her so-called $50 for changes. She can buy her things from the market first before coming here to top-up the credits. There are tons of changes in the Market Cashier. == Stupid woman. In the morning, when I was on a grocery mission with my mom, we saw a guy who was paying by card in the market when the things he bought is not more than $10. XD

Oh and it's Deniz's birthday and our 21th Anniversary! <3 We were talking about Singapore though. Deniz is reading a blog about Singapore as I am typing. He is such a charmer and a sweetie. He kept asking about Singapore and I really like to talk to him about it :3 Loving him so much! -snuggles pillow imaging it's Deniz- hehe, he is so sweet <3 But imagine we were even arguing == Like kids sometimes, you can't ignore me and I can't ignore you. ==

::Deniz Again...::

2011-03-22T12:03:00.000+08:00

I felt really sad today. I was trying very hard to make the mic work for my hubby... In the end, he thought I was ignoring him...I really didn't meant on making him feel that way... I was trying very hard to make it work... I don't want to think too much but my heart hurts... That's because I really didn't meant to make him feel ignored or think that I hate him... I really don't... I love him too much to even not to think about him for a minute... I'm sorry love...

Please forgive me...

::Reflections / Emotions V.2::

2011-03-18T16:56:00.000+08:00

Do I really care about my dad? Not really and I don't give a damn even if he died. I only cared about my mum, brother, boyfriend and some of my friends whom I cared a lot. I don't really cared much and I am too lazy to even think about him. This is my life and I control it. Not him of course. Sometimes, I was thinking to give up everything. Every single thing in my life. I was thinking to go astray, go bad and wild at anything I do. However, when I thought about my boyfriend whom is the motivation pillar that is holding on to me, I can't give up my life because of an idiot man who wants to ruin his own daughter's life.

Deniz is my motivation pillar and no matter what happened, I seemed to listen to him only. I don't know why though. I need love more than anything. I can give up on anything but love. Guessed Deniz is my best medicine. ^^

::Emotions::

2011-03-05T02:29:00.001+08:00

There are times that I want to cry.
There are times that I want to smile.
There are times that I feel high.
There are times that I feel annoyed.
There are times that I feel lonely.
There are times that I feel angry.
There are times that I want to destroy.
There are times that I want to create.
There are times that I feel loved.
There are times that I feel hated.
So what are yours?

::Friends or Fiends::

2011-03-04T21:48:00.001+08:00

There are friends that help you whenever you're in need.
There are friends that will only help you when they are in a beneficial situation.
There are fiends that will make you cry.
There are fiends that will used by you as milestones.
There are friends that can never betrayed you.
There are friends will only betrayed you when you betrayed them.
There are fiends that can help you to cause troubles.
There are fiends that can help you to lose your friends.
See right through their schemes.
Make sure they are friends or fiends.

::Deniz Again::

2011-03-03T22:37:00.001+08:00

I love him.
I don't know how if he is the one for me for the future.
But I know he is the one for me now.
He is dumb, but honest and kind.

Sometimes, he does silly things but I think it's cute and lovely.
He is my hubby on the net but I wish upon the star that he is my hubby in real life.
I'm not sure what is going to happen in the future.
I'm not sure of what is happening at his side.
He is not sure of what is happening at my side.
We are so close yet so far.
We are just right in front of each other but we could not touch each other.
Loving him is so much like a fairy tale.
A prince.
And I wish upon the star that I can live like Cinderella.

::Deniz Again::

2011-02-25T21:05:00.000+08:00

Deniz~
It's our 20th month together!
It's amazing every time that this day come.
I really love you and I don't want to leave you.

Being with you makes me so happy. Even though we have arguments along the way but we still pull it through. I know it's always the same thing over and over again but I really love you and I can't wait to see you! I am going to run towards you and hug you tight in the airport hehe.

Oh love, I brought a cook book. So I can learn on how to cook for you hehe. Even though you won't learn at all. ==" Still love you hehe. You're my prince and I'm your kitty <3

.:Reflections:.

2011-02-23T22:53:00.000+08:00

I was reflecting of what I have been through since Primary School and until now, my ITE life. It's been somewhat fun and noisy, due to some people. But hey, at least it's a little interesting. I don't have much friends to contact with anyway. However, I have some friends that I can trust. Even though I trust them with only 60% of my heart. =="

That's better than no trust at all. I think I have just a handful of classmates and friends that I can talk to. But~ I have tons of friends around the world through the... World Wide Web!! I have met through CABAL Online, Habbo Hotel, IMVU, Facebook, MapleSEA etc. CABAL online was the first combat online game that I have played and now I don't even want to play it anymore because my account was hacked. XD

Habbo Hotel is nice but I forgot my password so yea. Don't worry since I hardly played it anymore. I would want to start again though but it's boring. Then, MapleSEA, hardly playing it anymore too. Spent too much money on both CABAL and MapleSEA. Now, I am crazy about IMVU. The Arts there, the 3D clothes and my favourite, my Hubby, Deniz.

I got to meet him through IMVU. That time was really lucky since he reinstalled IMVU again and he said that if he didn't meet me, he would uninstall IMVU again. XD I met lots of people there and have lots of drama. ==" Used to have more than 50 friends in the list but now less than 30. It's because some never got online then others are drama. They didn't cause it and I didn't too, but both sides just wanted to get away from Drama.

Yes, yes, I fell in love with Deniz within two weeks but hey, he is such a nice guy. Sweet, loving, caring, kind and gentle. I would be very stupid if I let him go.

Oh yea, have arguments with classmates and friends are common, but oh well, bad memories and I really hate to bring it up anyway. It's because when you kicked me in the ass, someone will kick your ass to the depths of hell. So I don't have to worry.

I have been typing some stories but it's been on and off chapters. == I even wrote a fanfic about the Gazette. (Sorry, Ladies, no Yaoi for this one.) I found out they are quite manly x.x & seemed to be more fun than with the Korean Artists. Japanese people are wacky and so funny at times. If I ever worked with them, I think one day of the work will be one day of fun and laughter.

Oh well, I will write on my reflections soon. Exams are coming! ;A;
Oh & I love you, Deniz <3

:: Love is really my life ::

2011-02-20T02:06:00.002+08:00

How long have I known Deniz? I really love him even though we are really far apart from each other. Nothing can change the love I have for him. I am sure of that. Just 4 more months and it will be 2 years. Him and I always associate different couples from anime to represent each other.

I am married to him in IMVU and even if it is online, I am still happy about it. As least I know I am in love and I am afraid that I will be out of love. I love him and no matter what people said, I will always love him. There are arguments but it's just the process of learning each other but keep a little mysterious aura for each other to explore to increase the sensual and sexual feelings about each other.

Loving him so much and I am really attracted to Deniz's kindness. No matter what happened, I know I can trust him. He is honest and caring. I don't want any other man. I want and need only him. I am his little Kitty and he is my Prince. Even though he doesn't have facebook and Tagged or anything similar to it, even though he doesn't know what I wrote, but I want the world to know that he is my one and only hubby.

I love you so much, Deniz... <3

::Love is::Miliyah Kato

2011-02-11T13:14:00.000+08:00

English Translation

Love Is...

Holding onto sorrow
And unable to see anything more
I want to know the meaning of life
I'm here

Arguments, hurt feelings
It's like the same old struggle
I always keep on searching
With a hope that seeks out love

Love is... this, at any cost
We should live joining our hands together
Regardless of sadness
Trust you baby, forever
I'll believe in you

Although I'm afraid of confrontation, a few times I've lost control [lit. gestured]
I couldn't release my grip, but you didn't give up

Thinking back on each and every thing
I still want to be next to you forever
The person that I've been looking for

**Love is... this, at this moment, I am vowing
Because you're the only one I see
I'll say over and over, "I love you"
I will forever love you

I know why I love you
Please, baby please...
Let's promise that
The proof of our love will last forever
We've been waiting and waiting for this day
If you make a promise baby, yeah yeah yeah

**Love is... this, at this moment, I am vowing
Because you're the only one I see
I'll say over and over, "I love you"
I will forever love you

**Love is... this, at this moment, I am vowing
Because you're the only one I see
I'll say over and over, "I love you"
I will forever love you

Japanese Romanji

Love Is...

kanashimi wo kakaete
mou nanimo mie nakute
ikiru imi shiritai
watashi wa koko ni iru

igami ai kizutsuke ai
mogaite nando onaji you ni
zutto sagashi tsuzukete ita no
ai wo motome samayou kibou

Love is... this naniga atte mo
te wo tsunagi watashitachi wa ikite yukou
kanashii kotoga atte mo
Trust you baby zutto anata no koto
shinjiteru yo

muki au koto osorete nando teburi haratte mo
nigiru te wo hanasanai anata wa akirame nai

hitotsu hitotsu omoikae shite mo
yappari anata no zutto tonari ni itai
watashi ga sagashite ita hito

*Love is...this ima chikau yo
watashi wa anata dake miteru kara
"aishiteru" nando mo iu wa
watashi wa zutto anata no koto aishiteru yo

I know why I love you
douka baby please...
eien ni tsuzuku ai no akashi wo
yakusoku shiyou
kono hi wo matte ta matte ta no
If you make a promise baby yeah yeah yeah

Love is...this ima chikau yo
watashi wa anata dake miteru kara
"aishiteru" nando mo iu wa
watashi wa zutto anata no koto aishiteru yo

Love is...this ima chikau yo
watashi wa anata dake miteru kara
"aishiteru" nando mo iu wa
watashi wa zutto anata no koto aishiteru yo

::Cuts::

2011-02-10T20:00:00.000+08:00

Bah, these few days, I kept getting cuts everywhere on my body. I got a few on my hands while handling metal plates in my school workshop, then cuts on my fingers when I cut the oranges and one more cut at the wrist because of the metal plate! D< It was all an accident. Damned stupid knife! D<

And my test is coming on February 15. I sure hoped that I can get the marks that I want. Not really sure, what questions Teacher will give but at least he will go through. February 14 is Valentine's day, guessed I will be alone if my hubby didn't go online... Oh well... I think I will just sleep early if he doesn't come online...

::Deniz::

2011-02-10T00:53:00.002+08:00

I am worrying about him even though he sounded that he doesn't want me to worry him... He was upset about something but he didn't tell me since he said it's not really important. I am a little depressed too. If he can't tell me what's wrong then what should I do to make him happy. I even cried out for him because I know no matter what guys will never cry so I did the releasing the emotion of crying for him. Even though that makes him even more upset...

I am just really worried about him. If I don't care what he feels then what's the point of me being his girlfriend. It's not that I want to break up with him, ok? == I am just really worried about him. But also at the same time, I have to learn on how to respect his privacy... So I guessed sometimes I just have to listen to him and just try to make him happy whenever he is sad or upset. Try not to make him even more upset.

Hoped he will be feeling better soon...

Oh and love, I don't know if you are going to read this post or not, but please don't be angry ok...? I am just over-reacting and sometimes, I just need to stop being stupidly stubborn and listens to you and respect your privacy... At least I know I can always trust love to be fine... Sorry for making Love even more upset yesterday... Hope you will forgive me... Oh and love, I will show you something that really made me laugh and angry at the same time. Maybe I will show it to you on Friday when both of us are online in IMVU at the same time. I love you so much, Deniz. <3

.:Boring Chinese New Year:.

2011-02-04T14:17:00.000+08:00

My Chinese New Year for this year is so bored. I didn't get as much Hong Bao money as I used to be. That's because my dad is going out of country, my mum is working so we can't really go to any relative's house. I am kind of tired though.

Oh well, and I missed Deniz! ;A;

.:Random #6:.

2011-01-30T22:21:00.000+08:00

Oh wow, I almost finished my all time favourite anime series which is Kindaichi Case Files. I love that series and all the way of murdering someone and the purposes or dramas of the killing. Locked Room Mysteries are the most intriguing one. Secondly is the Intelligence of both Kindaichi when he solved the cases while placing all the puzzle pieces together to allow the murderer to be arrested and the way when Murderer used different and thousands of methods to get the perfect crime.

I would really ask people to watch it so you can really move your mind. = = Makes you think and stuffs. Detective Conan is really not my type compared with Kindaichi Case Files since the characters buildings aren't that good. The characters from Kindaichi Case Files are unique in every way. So watch it!

.:Deniz is in a band!:.

2011-01-23T00:22:00.000+08:00

OMG! My Hubby, Deniz is in an Online Band in IMVU. I was so surprised that I almost fell out from the chair! I was so happy and well, shy that since he introduced me to his friends online in a Turkish Online Bar in IMVU. I was really shy and I keep snuggling with Deniz when I was in the room and well, he chatted with his friends while entertaining me. -Giggles-. <3

I am so happy for him and feeling proud too <3 No matter what he does, as long as it is a good thing, I will always be there to support him! <3 I love you so much, Deniz! <3

.:Miyavi's Baby Girl:.

2011-01-16T14:33:00.003+08:00

Even though everyone in the Visual Kei world had know this but then when I found this article, I felt so happy! Miyavi had a daughter with Melody! Sorry if my choice of words sounded wrong. When I searched in google to have a look on how Miyavi's little girl looks like, she is so adorable!

I can't help feeling happy for them and for those people that sent him hate mails because he's married or even having a child and wife then please fuck yourself. He looked so happy with her and he was so happy when his baby girl was born.

I'm sure his loyal fans will be very happy for his happiness and wish the best of lucks to his wife, Melody and his baby girl, Airi :3 But really, she looks so adorable ;A;

.:Random #5:.

2011-01-14T21:31:00.000+08:00

Today was my last day in Sembawang Shipyard and I don't want to admit it but I am starting to miss my mentors and the foremen there. I was thinking to cry but hey, my tears are not there at all. Just my heart feels a little hurt. Really. Even though I didn't really say goodbye to them but I really wish that I can see them again.

Right now, I am thinking about the advices that they gave me. To keep on studying without giving up. Not failing. Fail is just another door to success. Hard work and effort are the keys to that. So keep on trying and one day, it will surely come to your doorstep.

.:Random #4:.

2011-01-11T20:47:00.000+08:00

Just three more days to my freedom from the Shipyard Internship. I was thinking to apply for a course in Polytechnic. Well, just have to wait for my results. I want to further my study because there is no way that I will give up. I hate it when my dad had to get in the way of letting me to study more. Is he trying to make me stupid or what? I want to learn as much as I can since I am only 19. Once I reached his age, I won't be able to get what I really want for my future.

This is my life and he ain't controlling it. At least I am making a good choice of furthering my studies. Rather than staying at home, doing nothing. Yes, I know working is important, but without the certificate, I'm nothing in the society. It's just stupid because let me further my studies and I will get the Ace Results. Trust me on that.

Three more days to my freedom and let me tell you this, I never missed my school badly like I am now. In the past, I always whine that why should I go to school. But now, I really missed school. ;A; I missed my dear hubby, Deniz too! ;A;

Have been depressed for days because of the internship. But the days are going to be over. Just three more days!

.:Random #3:.

2011-01-06T19:23:00.000+08:00

Well, today, I was acting like a loner. I didn't really talk to my friends for the whole day and when they asked me to sit with them, I just said no. I don't know why though. But I just want to be alone today, during working time. My mind was blank at that time and I really didn't know what to talk about. So I just kept quiet and well, some people were being weird when I stopped talking. Oh well.

I think I am having mood swing. I just don't feel like talking to anyone right now. I am just thinking about my Hubby, Deniz. I really missed him and I want to talk and chat with him so badly. I really wish that he would be online... Our days of meeting each other are really getting closer since it's a new year and 6 more days to end the internship.

.:Random #2:.

2010-12-31T23:12:00.000+08:00

Today, it was the best of my working days. That's because I managed to go on board of a Rock Dumper which is a ship. It was freaking huge and it was tiring to climb the stairs. You cannot imagine how many stairs there are in the ship. I managed to get into the Fresh Water Tank and it was so cramped up. The space was so small but it was fun and well, it was freaking hot.

It was so dark inside and lonely place once the flash light is off. It was fun cycling in the rain too. But my overall was wet, really wet because of the heavy rain. Oh well, it was the best day ever. Oh and wish everyone a happy new year since it's going to be 2011. ^^

.:Random #1:.

2010-12-27T19:22:00.000+08:00

I sure has lots of blogwalkers visiting my blog and do I have information that you guys wants? I am not really sure about that though. Just more like my ordinary life. But once in a while, I write something meaningful. Just tell what's the problem or the topic you want to talk about and I will post my opinion on here. Just anything. But that is just my opinion so don't take it to heart if I have written anything bad or really insulting. I will try to update the blog more so people can really find information that they want here.

Right now, I will just tell you guys about Internship and well, it is known in Singapore as Attachment. Means for the last year of your college or University or Polytechnic, you will be attach to a company and work for them either for 1 month, 2 months or even longer. The good thing is that you're exposed to real life working environment and learning things from Seniors of the company. Well, I am attached to Shipyard. Harsh environment for a girl, indeed. But don't worry, there are people who are willing to help you, just ask them and they will help.

As we know, when you work, you're bound to find foreign workers as well. Either from Indonesia, Malaysia, China, India or even European countries, so just be normal. But for girls, please don't wear revealing clothes in a man's working place. You know what I mean when there are foreign workers. Unless you work in an air-conditioned place, like office then it's alright. Like me, I work in a shipyard and right at the Hull Department. In case, you guys don't know what is a Hull, is the skeleton structure of the ship. So yea, that's where man's work comes in.

The thing about Attachment or Internship is good for experiences and learning things outside from the books we stared every single day in school or at home. But the bad thing is that you will have to adapt to the new environment and new people. Like me, I am having problems with my "Team mates". One thing is they are racist. They do not speak the common language which is English. They just talked in their own language which I have a hard time understanding. After these 3 weeks, I will just ignore them. Let's not talk about them since they are retards. Anyway, finding for jobs? Go for attachment or internship so you can learn more and you might have more chances in jobs that you want in interviews. Ciao~

.:PMS:.

2010-12-13T22:10:00.000+08:00

Ok... I had been having mood swings since one week and I'm glad that I didn't leash out on my boyfriend x.x But I did leash out on my phone... I dropped my phone and I just yelled "FUCK!" out loud in my room. After a few hours, my brother asked me what was wrong, then I laughed because I found it funny afterward. = =

Oh yea, after this week, I will be going for my attachment for a month. From 20 December to 14 Jan. So I think I am ready. Hoped I can learn as much stuffs as I can. <3 Deniz came online yesterday when I slept early since I was really tired. I sent him a message and he did too <3 Love you Deniz <3

12 more days to 18th being with Deniz!

.:Wedding And Such:.

2010-12-05T23:57:00.000+08:00

Man, I just came back from a wedding and it's kind of ok. The thing was that the Beautician sucks. That's because her way of make-up is so thick and hard to wash off. I looked like a ghost because of that make-up. She doesn't look at the shape of your face but followed the colors of your clothes. Yucks!

The Beautician took so long and in the end, most people who were at the hotel complained and such. Some of them even got lost along the way. Next time, I will never ask a Malaysian Beautician. It's really bad and I don't want to ruin my face. Talking about wedding. Me and Deniz are Married in IMVU!!! <3

That happened quite a few weeks ago. I was very happy that he finally changed <3 I was wondering why he changed but oh well <3 Love you Deniz <3 Oh yea, for today, I really had a bad encounter with a customer in IMVU. Well, in IMVU, I am someone who provide arts for a price. Something like for Deviant Art. She said she likes it but she doesn't want to use the picture that I made for her.

Totally wasted my time on that stupid girl. I really want to charge double since that kind of people will just order. == Seriously, if you don't like my style then fuck off and go somewhere else. I don't need people like that or even give me credits. You wasted my time and I really hate it. Oh well, I am going to sleep. Nighty Night <3

Oh and Deniz, I love you! <3

.:Anger:.

2010-11-28T12:47:00.000+08:00

I really want to kill myself or cut myself to relieve the pain in me. I really hate it. I got stressed because of my father and I really hate it. I want to cry but I don't have the tears to cry. Doesn't he have anything to do? Other than taking me and my brother as punching bags? I am not a genius. So don't expect me to do everything so good.

Fucking asshole. I really hate you and I really wish you can just leave me fucking alone. I'm not your punching bag and I ain't genius either. Blame yourself for not giving birth to a genius. No matter what I do, whether is study hard on the course I like or just doing the things I like. Everything is shit to you. Nothing will come out good from me, am I right?

Fuck you!!!!

.:Fuck Him:.

2010-11-24T20:45:00.000+08:00

Does he think that his children are animals or what? Just a little of things and he will be scolding vulgarity to my brother and me. Fuck him and I really wish I could leave this house quickly. I don't want to have anything to do with him. That him is my father. Useless and stupid. He is totally nothing and I don't respect him as my dad anymore. I just hate him to the core.

I already lost the respect towards him and all the laughs and smiles towards him are fake. I really hate him. I know one day, I would snap and leave the house without any notice. When I was outside during school or just go shopping with my brother, I really wish I can just run away from this home. This place is like only for free food, bed and internet for me.

Even though I know I will miss my mum but hey, look at what HE did to me. Demoralized me with vulgarities and saying that I am stupid. When I study well, I earned nothing back. Not even a praise. I got As for my examination and nothing came out from his mouth. Just totally fuck him up. I really want to leave this house. Totally.

.:No Idea:.

2010-11-20T18:32:00.000+08:00

I have no idea on what to type for this entry. While I was typing this entry, I was working so yea, I am slacking off. I am so bored and tired here, and there wasn't much customers as it supposed to be. Most of them just came and asked for stuffs or just looking around. Maybe it's because of the monsoon season. These few days kept raining.

Today is a Saturday and it looks pretty empty on the streets. Oh well, now the streets are full of people, just nobody is buying stuffs from my dad's store. Oh yes, 5 more days, it's going to be our 16th month. Deniz and Me! <3

I am pretty surprised. It's almost a year. <3 8 more months and it will be two years. I am pretty surprised myself because I love someone for so long and it is still going strong. Not much stuffs in school too. Just all pratical work and nothing much. Not much theory either.

I sure hope I can get my holidays soon so I can be free for a while. I want to go shopping for a while since it's been a long time since I do that. I think I want to head to Vivo City for once or go to... Jurong Point? Oh well.

.:Friends:.

2010-11-14T17:21:00.000+08:00

What is wrong with Singaporeans these few days? Why is there so many cases of gang-fighting all over the places? Is it really a good thing to fight for something that you thought it would be there? The Fame and Money will go down to the drains before you even know it. Many people are fighting each other for something that will be there for a moment, but on the long run, it would be gone before you even can touch it.

People who get confused easily, please don't fall into the tricks of all the demons. Just don't. Once you did, you can never come back. You can but how? Cheat Death? I don't think so. Just think before you leaped. Life isn't easy anyway. Shits happened. With Parents, School, Friends and anything that is there to block your way. But just don't give up and keep trying in a good way.

Shits just happened. Life ain't that easy. If it is really easy, I don't think you want to live too. Don't give up just because you cannot do it. Try other good ways. People are not useless. Open your eyes and see what others can do. What are their strengths and weaknesses? Find it and tackle it down. Yes, it's hard. However, just keep trying. People are old enough to think and I don't think you want to be "The Bad" all the time. You will get bored. Well, freedom of speech. There isn't much I could say because I am a teenager as well. But please think.

Adults may not know what we are thinking but Teenagers can think for their own age group too. Pick the right friends. Not the one that will lead you to hell.

.:Love:.

2010-11-13T17:06:00.000+08:00

I don't know why that today, I suddenly feel so loved. Maybe it's because I was thinking about Deniz and the things we will do when he comes to Singapore. I can go shopping with him and have dinner with him. So I have to learn how to cook properly for him <3

I want him to have a taste of my cooking and I sure hoped he would love it >< He is a Turkish so I have to think of something that I can cook which will not bore him so much. Maybe I will cook some dishes that are really famous in Singapore. So he can really taste the food of Singapore.

Oh Deniz, I really wished you can be here because I really feel lonely here without you. I want to kiss your cheeks <3 And I want to take all the photos that we will be spending together. <3 That's because we can always remember the time and moments we will be having together. Deniz, you're the person that I really want to spend time with you.

I know, it maybe fake. That's because you and I are so far apart. However, I rather put my trust and faith in someone whose is in the another side of the world, rather than putting my time and faith into someone who doesn't even love me whom is on the same side of the world. I know, Deniz.

Sometimes, things will change. But, I believe in true love and I really know that the safest place to be with, is right beside you. I love you, Deniz <3

.:Fake Bonding:.

2010-11-06T22:28:00.000+08:00

I thought that the bonding that taken place today, would be some exhibition or something like and wear Casual Smart clothes. However, I was wrong. It was like a Camping / Bonding session with outdoor camps. I really thought I was going to meet the real time "Big Shots" of the Marine Industries. = = Man, the organization cheated us. I shouldn't have gone there.

I was thinking that I could finally get some real advices from the "Big Shots" but it wasn't, apparently. I really hate it. Yes, playing those outdoors activities are fun but my friends and I just didn't have the mood at all. So after lunch, me and some of my friends just went out of the park. Lazy to play. Cheating people. = =

.:Weird And Unlucky Day:.

2010-11-01T01:06:00.001+08:00

Today is a freaking weird day. I was working in my dad's mobile phone store and well, there was a customer that wanted to buy a second-hand mobile phone which is like people used it and they don't want it and we will sell them back. I sold it at $80 then he bargained till $50. I was thinking that he is a totally cheapo.

Then I said no. I will sell it at $80 with a free charger. He said no. So, I dropped the price to $65. I was starting to get a little angry because, I don't earn anything from selling it at $50, plus he kept complaining that there is no earpiece and blah blah. I told him to fuck off. If he wants to buy then buy it, there is no need to speak so much about it. An USED phone. What do you expect? Expect it to be in full set? Bullshit.

So I just said, "If you want to buy, then buy. Are you thinking that because we are kids, we don't have any brains? Don't fuck us around and go away." Then, he said, "No no, boss, really last price. What is your best?" I said, "$65."

"But no earpiece, memory card needs to be fixed..."

"Fuck off then and ask someone else. You don't want, other people also want it."

He walked away and after a while, he came back. = = Then he keep saying $55. I said no. Then I called my dad, asked for his final say of the price. He said $65 with no charger. The Indian guy walked away and never come back. Great, and finally.

The uncle next to my store, told me that that Indian guy bought a phone that worth $100 plus and he saw that he was being yelled at by the shop keeper. I was laughing. And Finally he was gone.

.:Lots of Things:.

2010-10-20T21:27:00.000+08:00

Lots of things happened and that included My Exam results are out and I got all As! I love my results and well, I am going to have a bonding session with the all the Big Shots of the Marine-Related. Just 5 more days and it will be me and Deniz 16th Anniversary <3

Dad lost his temper always and well, me and my brother were the "victims" of it. I don't want to care either and I am working on a new story. The Inspiration is from Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines. Pretty cool game even though it's a very old school type of game. Check it out :3

.:Persian Cat:.

2010-10-11T15:11:00.001+08:00

Oh my god! I finally seen a real life Persian Cat and it was a pure breed. I was strolling in a pet shop with my classmate, and suddenly, there was a greyish Persian Cat appeared and roaming around the pet shop. It was so adorable <3 How I wish I can bring it home... It's so cute and its fur is really smooth and soft!!! The face was so adorable and the eyes were like watery and made it look so innocent. When it scratched its back, the bell collar was ringing. Hehe, it was so adorable. I should have taken a photo of it x.x It looks something like that but it's a little grayish and the eyes were round, not slitted. My classmate said that the cat looks stingy XD

.:School & Job:.

2010-10-10T23:09:00.000+08:00

Woo~ I have a job at my dad's store. Well, it's going good except that some of the days aren't going well for sales. That's because maybe people are working, schooling and such so they can't really walk past the place. It's a temporary place so it doesn't really have any good phones. It will have those very basic phones. Until, the business is then, maybe we will have a better store and phones to sell.

School is going to start tomorrow. My Grades got all As!!! I am happy that I did pretty well. I am going to a Polytechnic when I graduated. I can't wait for that day. I will be graduating on April 2011. ^^ I really can't wait. Oh yea, I was thinking should I get a tattoo on my back? I really need to save up and oh yea, I need to get a driving license soon. So then, when my dad has enough money to buy a small car, then we will get one ^^

I don't really like cars though... I like Harley Davidson. <3 Yea, tough bike <3 Muah <3 I love it hehe. I have been writing a new story. Now it's still on the draft stage so not really done yet. Plot is not good and all. The Characters are alright at the moment, and I still have lots of things to cover such as the personalities and such.

.:Gaki No Tsukai Police:.

2010-09-02T21:48:00.001+08:00

There are lots of parts and they are English subbed. ^^

Gaki No Tsukai Police Part One

Gaki No Tsukai Police Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

Part Nine

Part Ten

Part Eleven

Part Twelve

Part Thirteen

Part Fourteen

.:Party In A Wrong And Stress Way:.

2010-08-29T04:42:00.001+08:00

Today, it was my dad's friend's birthday so he is the birthday boy. Everything was going ok when a group of international students came to the chalet. Chalet is like a mini hotel beside the beach. Alright, the chalet that my dad's friends and I were in was on the left, the students' one was on the right. At first, they wanted to buy cups from us since we were going to have a party. My dad's friend declined it and the second time, they came to buy some soft drinks from us and we declined again.

We knew that they were something wrong since they kept asking for drinks and cups and locked themselves in their own room and nobody can see them. They were on drug-high. They were all underage, like 17 and below. It's like I am older than them by 2 years. They were smoking too.

So they crossed over the line in between. We were fine with it. Then... The birthday uncle's sister, asked them to please excuse me. As in ask them to move a little to their side. That's manners right? We were not being rude at all. Then one girl from the students said what!? what excuse!? Like that = =

Then ok fine, we calm down and just leave them alone. But... They were already on high and were smoking. And they bought the spray thingy = = The one that you used in parties. We were bbq so if that thing spray on to our food? The adults don't mind, but what about the kids? What are they going to eat if that food is being dirtied?

Then never mind, we leave them be. But then... They keep crossing the lines and everyone that lives in that chalet. As in the area, complained. The students came to pick a fight with all the male adults on my side. My dad and his friends' English aren't that good. So they were speaking broken English. The students kept laughing at them and well, that...

So the students were going to pick a fight. The security guards came three times and they can't do anything about it. So... We called the police. Then others called the police. They came and you know what the students did? They ran away from the backdoor and broke the wooden door. Then... Well... The police came... And they found out that there were drugs at the back of the chalet.

It was in the drains, under the bricks and stuffs. Then the students were like... Lurking somewhere close. Everyone around my side, were complaining to the police. So some came back. And they started arguing. = = We were like, "ok you guys are youngsters. We are adults here. You know what will happen if you're drunk. Youngsters cannot control, but for those middle-ages, we can. We know what to do. And there are kids around my side. There are kids around other sides too. Are you going to tell me that you're going to disturb them when I am not around?"

Plus they are on smoke high. Drug high. That's make it even more worried. So yea. They did not really apologize... But then, in the end, they apologized. Because we meant business. You can have fun. But because the way they did, it's like... They drank vodka gin whatever. And threw the glass on the floor. All the kids including me don't wear slippers or shoes when we are at a house. What if we step on it?

Some are from Turkey. Some are from Austria, US, UK. Whatever countries that you can see blondes, skinny guys. Justin beiber type of guys = = So yea = = After a while, they said "Hey we're sorry for all the noise we made." When they are freaking drunk = = For drinking shots = =

Not that I want to say people from Turkey are bad. Since my boyfriend is from Turkey, Izmir. But it's just you know, I have lost faith in human beings already. Except for some that I really love and care. That's my day for the party.

.:Mistake In Chinese:.

2010-08-28T17:58:00.005+08:00

女孩和男孩一直彼此相爱着，信任着，幸福快乐着··· 　　直到有一天，男孩的好朋友告诉男孩，见到女孩和一个帅气的男孩在街上亲热的说说笑笑，还一起去了情侣精品店；男孩心里有些波动，他告诉自己没什么，却又无法让自己不去猜测，想像；于是，男孩马上就打了女孩的电话，问女孩：你在干什么啊？　　女孩笑着说：我没干什么啊！怎么了？想我了？

男孩听到女孩的电话旁边有个男人在小声的跟女孩说话，于是说：没什么，你和谁在一起啊？我想你了，你呢？女孩笑的更开心了，说：我当然想你啊！不想你想谁啊？我旁边没人，你一定听错了！男孩又说：如果没人，等会一起吃晚饭吧！你这几天都没陪我吃饭了，在忙什么啊？　　女孩说：不好吧！我等下还有事呢！下次再陪你吃好吗？88！

男孩正准备再说什么时，女孩已经挂断了电话！男孩的心里这时很难过，也很生气，他想，女孩一定变了心，不然怎么会骗他！于是，男孩跑到女孩的家门口去等女孩，可是等了一夜都没有等到女孩，一直到男孩早上返回学校的路上，才遇到女孩了，女孩坐在一个帅气的男孩车上，没看到男孩，男孩这时觉得自己的心都碎了，他知道他深爱着女孩，所以女孩这样将他的心伤的很深很深！男孩失魂落魄地向学校走去，他心想：明天就是我们相爱3年了，也是我的生日了，这就是你送给我的惊喜礼物吗？我深爱着你，你却这样对我，伤害我，我一定会让你后悔的！于是，男孩就回到班上找了一直都很喜欢他的长发女孩，说要和她交往，长发女孩很开心男孩跑来说和她交往，于是笑着点点头，挽住男孩的胳膊走了出去；女孩来学校后看见这伤人的一幕，她走近男孩后，一脸受伤地问：能告诉我这是怎么一回事吗？

男孩轻笑着说：你以为呢？你看到了还问？你心里不是知道了吗？女孩往后退一步，双眼通红地问：为什么？你，你不是说你爱我吗？不是说你会永远爱我的吗？男孩看着女孩伤心的表情，心里有些迟疑，他不知道是女孩的演技太好，还是真的伤心，但一想到这几天，男孩就
无法理智，他冷笑着说：爱？多么讽刺的字，我和你在一起时，才说爱你，我和她在一起，还不是说爱她，我从来就没真正爱过你，你别做梦了，我现在已经不想和你在一起了，所以请你不要再缠着我了好吗？走开！

女孩低头半天不语，然后，女孩说：我想和你好好谈谈，晚上我在树林的老地方等你！然后女孩头也没抬的转身走了，但在女孩转身的时候，男孩还是清楚地看到了女孩的眼泪，男孩想：为什么变了心还要这么伤心呢？只因为不想让我说出分手吗？还是喜欢我也喜欢那个人？
晚上，天下起了小雨，后来又变成大雨了，男孩去的时候，女孩已经在树林的路边那里等他了，而且全身已经被雨淋湿了，只是女孩怀里抱着一样用黑色袋子装着的东西，男孩走到女孩的面前，女孩看到他来后很开心的笑了，然后扑到男孩的怀里，而男孩忍着抱女孩的冲动，将女孩推开了，女孩望了男孩一眼，开口不知道说了什么，然后，将手里的东西递给男孩，只听见“嘣”的一声响，男孩用手将东西打掉了，说：我不爱你了，所以不要你的东西，你走吧！请你以后不要再出现在我面前，我不希望我的女朋友有什么误会！然后男孩转身离去···

女孩终于哭出了声，她快步走向那个要送给男孩的礼物，打开后，才发现那个找了很久的爱情的水晶心已经碎了，而许愿瓶也碎了，里面的纸折星星也都洒了一地，女孩边哭边用手在地上拣，雨也越下越大，仿佛也在哭泣着；也许是雨下的太大，看不到路，也许是女孩蹲着太瘦小，让人难以发现，所以女孩被一辆急速开来的大车撞倒了，而且还当场死亡，女孩死的时候，手里还紧紧握着水晶心的一角和没拣完的星星！第二天上课时，男孩正看着女孩的空位发呆，忽然老师说外面有人找他，男孩正纳闷是谁找自己，出去一看，竟是那个和女孩在一起的帅气男孩，男孩正准备开口时，帅气男孩先开口了：女孩昨晚被车撞死了！

男孩懵了``````半响过后，男孩才回过神，颤抖的说：你胡说，我昨晚才见过她! 帅气男孩生气的看着他，动手揪住男孩的领口，大声说：都是因为你，她才会出意外的，她那么爱你，你为什么要伤害她？和她分手，让她伤心难过？她是一个好女孩，你为什么忍心伤她的心？说啊！

男孩推开他的手，声音有些沙哑地大声说：她爱的是我吗？？？我爱她还差不多，如果她爱我，那为什么这几天为了和你在一起都没来陪我？而且还和你在外面过夜呢？帅气男孩一听，动手打了男孩一拳，大吼道：你胡说什么？我是她的堂哥，才回来几天，她和我在一起只是想让我帮她挑一样送给你的礼物而已！！！你说你爱她，却不愿意信任她，还有，你不明白你为什么不问清楚就伤害她？你这算什么爱？？？

男孩听了，脚一软，坐在了地上伤心的哭了起来，他不得不承认，他的确没有问女孩，没给她解释的机会，没有给女孩信任，也让自己失去了最爱的女孩，还狠狠地伤了她的心！帅气男孩将一个袋子递给坐在地上的男孩，说：这是女孩昨天准备送你的生日礼物！男孩用颤抖不已的手轻轻打开那个被自己用手打掉的袋子，看着那些沾有女孩血迹的破碎水晶心，和一些纸折星星，男孩的眼泪更加控制不住了，失声痛哭的他打开那些纸折星星，只见上面写着许多话，有的

写着：我爱你，永远不会变的爱！有的写着：我的幸福就是毕业后嫁给你，和你度过下半辈子！有的写着：我希望将来你不要死在我前面，我希望能死在你的前面，因为希望你的幸福比我多一点！又有的写着：我的爱像星星一样多，像空气一样不能少，像呼吸一样不能停···还有一张没有折叠的一张，上面写着：我是真的很爱你，我无法让自己不去想念你，无法让自己离开你，也无法和你分开，我将无法再呼吸，如果失去你，我的世界将只有哭泣存在着，笑脸将不再出现，当泪像流星雨不停地划过，看完后请勿必转载，不转也就白活了这些年

.:Sadness Is Setting In:.

2010-08-28T00:43:00.000+08:00

I really wish that Deniz was here... Maybe he will not be here after all... It's just... In my heart, I still love him but... I don't know what to do or to say now... I cried for two days and I only talked to Cici, my imvu sister... Nothing changed about me and Deniz... I hoped...

Just feel so sad...

.:Something That I Found In Facebook:.

2010-08-25T17:23:00.002+08:00

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.

By Stephanie Halmilton

.:Funny SMS:.

2010-08-20T22:40:00.000+08:00

Today I messaged my brother to come home to have his dinner. So he messaged me back, what's cooking at home? Then I answered, Long beam and steam fish XD. It was supposed to be Long Bean! The vegetable! Not the part of a house. Lol XD.

I keep laughing when I noticed my sent messages. XD My brother was keep laughing. I didn't noticed when I re-read the whole message. Lol XD My brother was like, "You're stupid."

XDD!!

.:New Song:.

2010-08-19T19:48:00.000+08:00

Found a new song and that song makes me really sad and made me cry. This is the song so check it out. I will be crying like crazy like the girl... But because she loves the boy, she had to let him go and see him being happy, without her by his side.

I'll Back Off So You Can Live.

.:He Is Back!:.

2010-08-18T17:04:00.001+08:00

Yay, Deniz is back! He was working for a month before his school starts... I missed him so badly and I thought he doesn't want me anymore. I was really getting angry and sad with him. He asked me am I angry with him, I said yes, a little. Then he asked me again, if I still love him. My answer was of course, I still love him. If not, I won't even want to send messages to him every single day. Saying goodnight to him even if he didn't online and read my messages. I still want to send the messages because I just love him.

I am someone that really needs a boyfriend to be my moral support and I know he is always there. Both of us feel lonely at times because we are not there for each other. When he comes to Singapore, I will just toss myself at him. That's because I miss him. I want to hold his hand, kiss his lips and just be there with him. I don't know how long we can last. But I just want to let him know that I really love him and nobody can replace him.

.:Missing Him So Much:.

2010-07-11T13:49:00.000+08:00

I am still waiting for Deniz. That's because I really love him. I don't want to lose him and I will never give up on him. I really love him so much and I never want to lose him. Please, Deniz... Please be online soon... I really miss you... I love you so much and I really don't want to give up on you... Please don't give up on me and don't ignore me...

As long as I know your existence, I will always love you. There will be always a big space of my heart for you to fill in. That is where you belong in my heart. I really love you... Please be online soon... I missed you so much... I love you Deniz... <3

.:Funny Things:.

2010-06-24T21:52:00.000+08:00

Oh my god~ My cousins came to my house and well he became more humorous. My brother and I were laughing like crazy and really LMAO. XD Haha, it's really funny and well, my bed got ruined by my cousin too. =/= He went to hop on the bed and the board that holds my mattress broke and fell it on the floor. OMG!!

How the fuck am I going to sleep?? My 10 years bed TT^TT Anyway, now I am sleeping on the floor for the time being. -sighs- I missed Deniz... Where is he...? I really missed him and I don't want to spend the day alone. ~_~ My prince, my baby, where are you....? I love you Deniz.... Please don't leave me...

.:Feeling So Down:.

2010-06-21T19:44:00.000+08:00

I have been feeling so down lately... I keep thinking that Deniz doesn't love me anymore... It's going to be our first year anniversary... I really don't know if he still remembers... I really missed him and I really wished that he is here... Love... Please be online soon... I really missed you... I cannot take you out of my mind... You're always in my mind and heart... I want to see you so badly...

I love you Deniz... Please be online... I really missed you... I love you... I noticed that I have been crying pretty much lately... Don't know if it is nightmare or just my imaginations... It's just so hard to be... happy these few days...

.:Feeling Tired & Loved, I Guessed:.

2010-06-09T19:40:00.000+08:00

Feeling tired these few days... I really don't know why. It's like hard to get out of bed, I want to keep on sleeping. These few days, I really missed Deniz. I really missed him, but he is not here yet. I could only wait for him... I would take the risk of loving someone from another side of the world, rather than putting false hope on someone that don't love me who is on the same side of the world as me. It's really true. I am willing to take the risk to love Deniz, rather than loving someone who doesn't even love me from the same side of the world as me.

That is because Deniz is really nice to me. Even if it's just an online relationship, but once we met each other, that's when the real relationship will start to blossom. There is no way I am going to give up on him. I did want to give up on him in the past, because all those small arguments really will make things even bigger if you don't calm down. This thing called Love, really has to take its course. I remembered one quote though, "Don't worry when a girl cares too much, Worry when the girl doesn't give a fuck about the guy."

It's kind of true. If the girl doesn't care the guy, the guy would be feeling weird as why doesn't the girl cares about him anymore. I care Deniz way too much, but he seemed to be okay with it though. Anyway I love you Deniz <3

.:Missing Him So Much:.

2010-06-04T17:13:00.000+08:00

I really missed Deniz. I really wished him luck for his finals. Being in the Third Year in the University is hard. I really missed him. Oh yea, I have someone asked me that do you really love my boyfriend, Deniz. I really love him more than anything. I can't wait to be in his arms. When he graduates, I am going to be so nervous to meet him at the airport. I really want to hug him tight and kisses his cheeks and lips.

We have been in an online relationship for over a year now and I really love him more than anything and everything. He might be out of my sight, but not out of my heart. He might be out of my reach, but not out of my mind. Seni Seviyorum Deniz <3

.:Feeling Sick & Tired:.

2010-05-27T20:26:00.000+08:00

These few days I have been feeling so sick and tired. I really hate running nose and sore throat. First, it will make you so hard to breathe and your nose will be really red. Then after that, once you sneezed out, your ears might get stuck, as in you can't hear properly. =/= You keep on sneezing and coughing and that makes you have sore throat. It will make you lost your voice. Today I have a test and I can't study for it. That is because I am way too sick to study but still I did. My friend had been sick for 3 weeks and she can still come to school and study, like me. But another friend of mine just sick for one day, and she could not take it and didn't attend the test. We were like, "Woah... Lazy..." We are more sick than her as we have been sick for almost one week for me and three weeks for the friend that I mentioned first, but we still take the risk to go to school and take the test. =/=

Sheesh, she is so lazy.Even now, I am still feeling sick ~_~ I want to get better soon!!! I hate my nose being blocked and my voice changed. I really don't like it v.v

.:So Insecure:.

2010-05-20T00:04:00.000+08:00

These few days I have been feeling... Lonely I think. Now I noticed that in IMVU, only two persons that are really close to me, one is my boyfriend and another one is my IMVU sister, Momo. I really feel weird. I don't know why. I just feel lonely and nobody that I can talk to. In school, I don't want to drag my family matters into the school and discuss with my friends. Even though in IMVU, it's possible to do that, but some things are better to keep quiet. I kept on waiting for my boyfriend, Deniz to get online since Momo was already offline and I don't feel so... Happy these days. My Fanfiction was just at chapter 10. Now I am only watching some funny videos to keep myself up.

I did go to a garden like what my boyfriend suggested. However still, I feel weird and stressed out. I feel troubled and such. Kind of found out that I have changed a little too. I hoped that won't scare Deniz away... Sometimes I really don't understand myself either. I am like not myself anymore. I keep worried about things. I tried to relax but it doesn't really work. This year isn't a good year for me I guessed. I just don't feel right and it's starting to annoy me. What should I do to make myself feel right? Now the only thing I can do is to talk to Momo, Deniz, My 2 sis. When none of them are online, I feel weird too... It's really lonely these days. I feel insecure...

.:Boredom:.

2010-05-18T14:31:00.000+08:00

Pretty bored these few days and well, I left my classmates alone. Most of them that is. The rest are still ok with me so yea, I am quite alright with them. It's just that I feel bored somehow. However, I am glad that the "Making Fun" is over. I am a living time bomb. ~_~

These few days are really bored to me. Oh yea, two more projects to go, one is Marine Improvement I think, another is Lifeskills Project. I did ask one of my Secondary School friends to help if she has the time and she agreed to it. Just have to finish the slides and we are done. Then we can plan the trip and everything ^^

I missed Deniz too... Even though his net is not always good. I just missed him...

.:Case Closed But The Days Will Be Very Much Different:.

2010-05-14T16:12:00.000+08:00

Things will be so much different as case was closed but I don't know about the others. Ok~ When I was showering, I was kind of talking to myself in my mind. I was thinking all of the consequences that might happened if the matter really blew up. I don't know about others, but these were what I was thinking. First was I have an attitude problem. Not that kind of attitude of I-Am-Always-Right attitude but more like a stubborn type. Second was my personality. I am like that and I don't really want to bother of changing it. But the moment, that people tell me my personality has a problem and I admit to it, I have to try to change it. That's because I don't really want to, well, I don't know how to put it, drag unnecessary people in, I think.

Listen to Ting Fang's advises, she is my friend by the way, I kind of thought through. I always think as if the world owes me something, but it's not really true that the world owes me something, more like I owes the world something. Then, I kind of imagined that my boyfriend was there to listen to my problems, so I spoke out of my mind and started mumbling in the bathroom. (I am crazy so shut up =/=). I don't really hate my classmates, but at least, when they joke, have a particular limit. I got fed up with an old friend of my DAD, and pissed off at him. My dad told me it's rude, but come on, I am not you, who can stand stupid jokes that always direct at me all the time. I am not a Saint that has limitless patience.

I was thinking is it human nature that people fight, people make up and stuffs like that. I know one thing for sure, is that I am stupid to really let anger control me. I broke my own promise a lot of times, because I said that I don't want to cry anymore after I have reached 12 years old, but still I still cried for no weird reason and such. =/= I really don't know why. When they asked me to watch out, then I was like, ok I will watch out for you guys. Then, I mumbled to my boyfriend again, mumbled, saying that fine, things are over but things won't the same as before. My wrongs, whose wrong, I don't care but I just want to live my life as peaceful as possible. I told myself before, if I learn martial arts, I could not control my anger and I will surely beat up someone badly. Martial arts are all about discipline but that Discipline is hard for me. Or you can say it's impossible. I don't know if this is my rebellious age or anything but, I just can't control my anger somehow.

Consequences, I know. Getting banned from school is not a good thing. No matter by small matters or big matters. The school is not blind or anything. But Higher beings know what happened and somehow, things will just come back. I don't really know but things happened for a reason, and I am a type that don't learn until I experienced some mistakes. So it's kind of weird. For personality wise, I know it's hard to change. It's easy to say but hard to do it. Everyone is the same I think. So, I will change but I will keep trying. It's just stupid for me to get anger for some stupid things. But the only I can do is, lower my head a little and try to change. Not that I have to say that I am lazy.

I am already 18 and yet, I am still childish. At this age, people say you're a big girl already, but because your mentality is still immature, people will still direct some jokes at you. My social life ain't that good, not that I don't like friends but I only like to keep those who are close. Even now, I still think that My boyfriend and family are my top priority. Even though they asked me to study hard. =/= So I don't know. Everything will be different and well, all I can say is I could only get the grade I want by being exams smart.

School matters settle in school, not bringing it into the family. Family matters settle in the house with parents and siblings, not bringing it into school. I think that is what the school wants us to do. We are old enough to settle, but just don't have the idea of how to settle. One either, we are immature, even though our body is mature enough. Two is we just don't dare to do it, because of our pride. All I can do is do my best in school and less interaction with drama and stuffs like that.

.:Worst Day:.

2010-05-13T22:56:00.000+08:00

Well, today is my somehow the worst day of my life. Oh well, I will let Karma do the job for me. I got into a fight with one of my stupid classmates, Chucky. Well I don't really care about it for now. First, Ah ceh, (Nasir), one of my classmates came late to school, so he went to take the key and he asked me and my friend to follow him on how to collect the key. We followed him to the General Office and took the key. After that, we went to the Learning Cove and opened up the door. But because I never opened the door before so I have to try every key that is available on the chains. Then, all of the male students from my class were rushing me to hurry up. I was what the fuck? Stop yelling at my ears! Chucky was the one who started yelling.

It was only 11.30am. We supposed to open it at 12 Noon, plus the room is not going to run away anyway, so what's the rush? It's childish. When I opened the door, they rushed it. Alright fine, I keep quiet about it. But then, some of them still continued to make fun of me and well, Chucky was one of them too. I took the keys and wanted to lock them in until 1pm since that was what the time our lessons started. I went to lock but didn't because one of the classmates purposely pushed the door and hit my eye. They can even laugh at it!

Wow? Chucky laughed the loudest so I went in and wanted to slap his mouth for laughing people when they fell down or in pain. But then he hit me in the chest and pushed me away. Then I just pushed him away. Then he said something that really made me angry. So what if my boyfriend is in other country? Because I got bullied and he won't be here and protect me. So what? I can handle it myself because I don't want to trouble my boyfriend. Is that a wrong thing? I mean come on.

Chucky did hit me so I can file a complain. He didn't say sorry and went smiling again. Fuck him! He is a childish idiot who wants Attention. I hate myself for being angry at that jerk but~ I am glad that Karma will do me justice one day. I don't have to do anything. I already sent an email to my teacher so just hoped my teacher won't tell this to my parents. Because school matters, and I really don't want to worry my parents with this little thing.

.:Again Fucker:.

2010-05-07T14:35:00.000+08:00

Fuck my dad!! I hate him so much!! I am not a GENIUS!!! I don't know all the fucking functions in the laptop!! KNN!!! What do you think I am? I am your daughter, not your maid!! CCB, I don't care if you die!! I Am SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!!!!

You're not my father KNN!!! Go and die lah!!! Always what I do is wrong, when I help, I also wrong? Wtf!? CCB Just go and die lah!! Always I do this is wrong, that one also wrong. Then I don't do anything, you also say I am lazy? WTFFF!!!!! You are lazy too!! So don't you dare say anything fuck you CCB!!!

.:I Hate My Dad Even More:.

2010-04-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

My dad is being stupid and keep saying that I am fat, I am short. So what? I don't care and I don't want to care. Say whatever fucking things you want. I don't even care if you die. I just fucking hate you!!! I have been tolerating his temper and attitude for half a year ever since he lost his job. He just kept losing his temper at me and keep asking me to set up his laptops while the laptops are right in front of him. KNN CCB!!! I am not your fucking maid!!! CCB!! So what if you're my dad, that doesn't give you the right to order me like a maid. If you care more about my brother then go ahead. I will just buy a ticket and stays with my Turkish boyfriend, Deniz. I can find a job there and I can really be with Deniz. So you can fuck off and out of my life!!

The moment I stepped out of the door and went to school, I kept thinking should I go home or not. This place is not my home as long as this MAN ( My dad ) is in the house. It's fucking annoying and useless to have him in the house. When he asked me to do this, he said it's wrong, then when I do another one, he said it's wrong too. WTF!? He can't even use his brains! When I told him there was no more ink in the printer, he asked, why is there no ink? Fuck you!!! Are you that stupid that you don't know why the printer has no ink? Your fucking brains are totally useless!!! I am going to get a restraining order and get away from you. I HATE YOU!!!!

.:FUCKING DAD:.

2010-04-29T18:41:00.000+08:00

CCB DAD!!! THIS IS ALREADY THE 10TH TIME!!! KNN GO AND DIE LAH!!! I AM NOT A TOOL!!! I AM A HUMAN!!!!! IF I AM A GENIUS, I WON'T END UP IN ITE ALSO!!! KNN CCB!!! WHAT YOU THINK I AM!!!?? ALWAYS WHAT YOU SAY IS RIGHT!? CB, SOON I WON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE YOU AS MY DAD!!!! FUCK YOU!!!! I HAVE ALREADY STUPID CLASSMATES AND NOW, A STUPID FUCKING DAD!? KNN GO AND DIE LAH!!!

I will acknowledge my mum and others but I won't acknowledge you!!!! You're not my dad anymore!! If I am stupid, then what for you asked me for help? Go and learn the skills yourself, asshole!!!!

.:10th Month Anniversary:.

2010-04-25T16:49:00.000+08:00

It's 10th month Anniversary with Deniz. I really love him and well, we have differences but still, we still pull it through. I was at the airport waiting for my mum to come back from Thailand and I was imaging what will happened if Deniz and I met up. What I will do and what he will do to me? He is so charming in someway and I bet I will be blushing like crazy when I meet him.

I will keep looking down and he won't see my face... Since I am quite shy when meeting him in real for the first time soon. I just hoped that everything will be fine. I love you Deniz. <3

.:Playing A New Game In Facebook:.

2010-04-18T16:14:00.001+08:00

Playing new games such as Hotel City, Happy Pets and Pet Society in facebook XD. I am just feel so bored. But oh well. It's going to be a year since Deniz and I were together. ^^ I love you so much Deniz ^^

.:I Love Deniz:.

2010-04-03T17:56:00.000+08:00

Deniz said that he feels happy when I messaged him ^^ I am really glad hehe. He apologized yesterday and I forgave him. Sometimes, couple fight among themselves is pretty normal, me and Deniz are no different too. Sometimes I won the argument and sometimes Deniz won the argument, it's normal :3

But I really love him and I don't want to lose him. I am really glad that he is here for me ^^ I love you so much Deniz. I really can't wait for the day you come to Singapore and be with me. ^^ Muah I love you mew... ^^

.:Should I...?:.

2010-04-02T16:07:00.001+08:00

These few days, I kept on wondering... Why Deniz never message me when I was not online and he was online...? Is it fair to me...? I messaged him every single day and his last message to me was 3 weeks ago... I feel it's not fair to me... I don't know why, now I feel really confused... Does he really love me...? I really don't know what is going on in his mind... I love him but he is pushing me to the edge without himself noticing it... I really love him but... Thinking all these made me having headaches and he surely will ask me to sleep and forget about it...

I guessed he doesn't really care how I feel after all... Since he never like to listen to people's problems... I bet he never listen to mine anyway... I kept on wondering... Should I go and leave him...? As I keep typing this... My eyes are getting blurry with tears... First drop of tear just came out... I don't want to leave Deniz... But... I really don't know... I really love you, Deniz...

.:Stupid Deviant Art:.

2010-04-01T19:09:00.002+08:00

Pretty funny DA... =/= The avatar pisses me off. I DON'T SUPPORT EDWARD OR JACOB =/= IT'S LAME AND CHILDISH. WTF!? Just because it's APRIL FOOL. Oh wow, so what if it is APRIL FOOL today? It's fucking stupid and lame. Grow up, sheesh. What a lame and stupid joke.

.:Feels Sick:.

2010-03-29T19:55:00.000+08:00

Man... I feel so dizzy right now. I don't know why though. I know I can't stand near a loud speaker because my body will start to have reactions to it. I will feel dizzy and having headaches. I really don't know why though. I will get asthma and temporary blindness. I want to tell Deniz that I love him more than anything. I can't wait to be in his arms.

I am really feeling dizzy. My dad is playing the music loudly. Plus the weather is hot, I might not be able to walk that much in the house for today. I really need some rest, I guessed. I just feel sick and stuffs. Dizzy... Oh love, if you're here, I would hug you tight and sleeps in your arms. I love you Deniz. Really love you...

.:Happy & Sadness:.

2010-03-26T17:44:00.002+08:00

I finally got to hear Deniz's voice!!!! His voice is so deep and attractive. I really like his voice and that was the surprise he gave me on his birthday which was yesterday. I am really happy and keep on smiling that night. Even though I kind of worried him a little since I keep coughing on my mic.

Sad thing about today is my stupid dad, asked me to read all his bills and stuffs. Then I got scolded by him. I was like, what the fuck? In the past, when my mum asked me to help reading it, he scolded me and my mum. And now, he asked me to read his bills and I got scolded because I didn't read them. How RIDICULOUS.

I was really crying and shaking of anger. I am not being sad, I was being mad and fucking pissed off with my dad. So what if he is my dad? I don't care. I never believe he cares about me after my mum told me a truth about my dad. So why should I even care? One, I am not his maid. Two, I am not that KNOW-IT-ALL. I am not a clever person, but I am not a stupid person either. I have feelings and I have got enough of his bullshitting.

He even compared me with my brother. I was like huh, I might not know how to program a game or even a software, but I am good at Digital Arts. So for that, I still need a computer right? My brother knows how to program a game, well that's a totally different story. If he likes me more than my brother, then might as well, throw me away and I will go somewhere else to stay. I don't need this type of father anyway.

My brother and I have different good points so why compare. We are DIFFERENT. Get that idea into your Fucking Head, DAD. Even if I played my computer just for games, don't tell me you don't use them for games and movies? FUCK THAT!

If there is one time that I ran away from home, I Won't Call You DAD anymore, I will only acknowledge others, but not you! I Hate My Dad. When I Do This, He Said I Am Wrong. When I Did That, He Said It Is Wrong Too. So Next Time, I Won't Do Anything Or Do Fucking Everything. I Don't Care If It Is Wrong Or Right, Because That Is What You Have Taught Me, Asshole. I Will Acknowledge Others But I Will Never Ever Acknowledge You As My Father.

If There Is One Day, That I Will Run Away From Home, I Will Never Call You Dad Anymore. I Have Some Other People That Worth My Care And Love, I Have No Reason To Even Talk To You And Stand Your Bullshitting.

.:Love's Birthday Is Coming:.

2010-03-21T20:12:00.000+08:00

Mew love... Your birthday is coming... I am really sorry that I cannot be with you right now... That is because we are far apart... I want to be with you in real so badly... I just want to be with you... Forgive me love... Sometimes it hurts me when I think of that you and I are just one computer screen away but we can't touch.

Sometimes I even wished that I can just fly to your place and be with you... We have been through lots of things and I don't know if love did want to give up on me or even has the thought of it... To me, right now, Love is my life and I don't want to lose you... I really don't want to lose you... You're really my everything...

I really love you Deniz... I could only wait until your graduation and you will come and meet me mew... I will always wait for you love... I love you Deniz...

.:Stupid Friends Of My Dad:.

2010-03-16T15:35:00.000+08:00

Argh I hate it when I need to walk up and down of my house, just to bring stupid wine for my dad's friends. They have legs so why should he called me or my brother and asked me to bring it down. They called me two times. What the hell!? Am I their maid or something?

It's annoying and I really don't care if they got drunk or slept near the food center, it's not my fault because that they are the one who want to drink. Damned them =/= I hate them so much. I really hate it. They are just being plain stupid.

Plus I was sick at the time and asking me running up and down of my house. =/= Damned them!

.:My Prince:.

2010-03-12T21:41:00.000+08:00

Love... Where are you mew...? I missed you. You just went disconnected until now... I really missed you mew... Hoped you're ok. See you soon love. I really miss you...

.:New Premades:.

2010-03-12T21:33:00.000+08:00

Made two new premades in IMVU and managed to sell other two premades. It's make me happy. I am kind of pissed off because there were some immature, picky customers and some stupid group owners in IMVU. My arts are worth 20Cr? What the fuck, are you joking with me? I might as well don't make any avi picture in that group. The group owner said I didn't even edit the hair, so why charge them. WTF!? Are you fucking blind or what?

Did I edit the hairstyles, colors, eyes, skin, makeup? Are you so fucking blind? I know where is my level of arts and editing. I may not be as good as Luba, Terror, VanillaSky, Dartvot, Yoru or Zob, but! I can learn and try to be like them. That group owner is just freakishly blind. Another is two very very picky customers.

One is a guy whom he wants a burnt border for his catalog icons, but he said he wants it to be like some creator in IMVU. I was like huh, I thought you want like burnt border. Then I gave him but the wrong type, then fine, it's my fault then I showed him the other type, he said no, it's like paper burn. I was like... Can you tell me in a detailed manner rather than bits and pieces. It's fucking annoying.

Another is a girl. When she said, she wants a banner that looks expensive, I would think of Gold, Yellow, Orange, Black and Silver. I never thought of Black and Pink. I did ask for a reference in the beginning so I can fully understand what the customers wants so I won't go wrong in anything. In the end, she answered, "Huh, what reference? I want a banner that is the same size as the one in my siggy and I want it to look expensive and glamorous."

It's really pissed me off when they told me that I am wrong after I have done their requests. I did ask for a reference. I am not a mind reader, so please! Give me all the details, either pictures, references, texts, fonts or style.

.:Internet Sucks:.

2010-03-11T19:10:00.000+08:00

My internet line sucks!!!!!

I hate it when I was chatting with my boyfriend in IMVU, it will make me disconnected. I really hate it. I didn't even managed to say good bye to him yesterday. Argh, I hate it. Now I am just stuck at home, don't really know what to do. My dad went out with his friend, my mum is working. Only me and my brother are in the house. My dad is still learning on how to roast a duck, so he can open a store.

I need to find a job too... I am so bored at home. Either I get a job or go to Gym thrice a day to slim myself down. I really don't know what to do. Life is a little too boring. My results of the final exams are toasted. I don't know if I can get A or not. I just wished at least get B for both modules. =/=

.:Going Merry:.

2010-03-10T17:22:00.001+08:00

The Going Merry had a remarkable propensity to withstand severe damage over her lifetime:

The sheep's-head prow was broken off and reattached after the ship collided with the whale Laboon
Luffy broke the mast and jabbed it into Laboon while fighting it
Wapol of Drum Island ate some of the railing
Off the coast of Alabasta, she was bombarded by iron spears during the confrontation with Hina when the Straw Hats were to leave Alabasta
Shojo of the Saruyama Alliance's Havoc Sonar attack damaging the already poorly done repairs.
Parts of the ship were chopped off by Bellamy's crew in Jaya Island, yet she was later newly repaired
Her railing was smashed by Luffy while attempting to fix the ship. He also accidently destroyed another part of the ship.
She was badly damaged during the crew's time in Skypiea, where the newly-installed wings were ripped off, the mast was burned, and other parts sustained a beating
She survived the 10,000 meter fall on her return trip from Skypiea back to the Blue Sea.

Going Merry is the first ship that Luffy and his crew got from Usopp's best friend, Kara. Going Merry is always the comrade and part of Strawhat Crew. All of them said without her, there would not be any adventures. Without her, they could not even see the Sky Island. Without her, they could not even escape Impel Down. However, in the end, the joy was cut short as Going Merry broke apart into half in the middle of the ocean. Iceberg from Water 7, told them that Going Merry was pushing her limits and showing a miracle for them one last time. The continuous damages that she received were beyond of what she could take.

The crew set it ablaze as a Viking Funeral. Luffy told her that the sea is dark and lonely down there, they will see her off. Snow started to fall and Going Merry started to speak. She said that she was sorry that she could not travel with them anymore or go adventure with them anymore. Luffy shouted to her that Sanji and Zoro are idiots that they continuously damaged the ship and he had damaged the ship as well, while trying to fix her up. Usopp tried to fix her up but he is not good at it.

However, Going Merry said that she feels the love that the crew gave her and she asked them not to be sorry because Going Merry really enjoyed all the adventures with them. No matter what happened, she is happy that she is one of important comrade of the crew. She felt sorry that she could not bring them for another adventure and hoped that they will forgive her. Luffy, Usopp, Nami and everyone mourned the death of Going Merry.

With heavy hearts, the Going Merry was set on fire and given a viking funeral. Just as it was burning, snow appeared and the ship spoke to its former crew. Despite the crew feeling like they really didn't take care of the ship to the fullest during its time with them, the Going Merry didn't hold any hard feelings towards the crew. This was, as it explained, because the crew actually did take care of it and for that it was grateful. With its last words and a tearful goodbye from its former crew, the Going Merry finally died.

The Going Merry was a ship; however, it became alive as any other member in the the Straw Hat Pirates. As it was burnt to a crisp, I said "I'm sorry, I wish I could have taken you guys a little further."
But Luffy forgave Merry, and told Merry, if anybody was to be sorry it was them for the way they treated the ship. When it died, a valuable member was forever lost.

.:Portgas.D.Ace:.

2010-03-10T17:03:00.000+08:00

Portgas.D.Ace is the adoptive brother of Monkey.D.Luffy. He has a totally opposite personality with Luffy as he is much more polite, calm, cool and mature. Many of his crew members even wondered how does Ace related to Luffy. The son of Gol D. Roger and Portgas.D.Rouge. His mother was pregnant with Ace after Gol D. Roger was being executed. She delayed his birth with her sheer will for 20 months and managed to give birth to Ace. However, after that, she died because of loss of blood and exhaustion. She died with a smile on her face while holding Ace.

Garp adopted him and he became Luffy's adoptive brother. Even though we might not know that Luffy is already aware that Ace is not his biological brother but an adoptive brother. Luffy still loves him as a older brother and a role model. Ace's fate is the same Nico Robin as the Devil's Child, being the son of the late Pirate King, Gol D.Roger. He was being defeated by Marshall.D.Teach and being taken to Marine Ford for his execution. Luffy managed to sneak in with the help of his admirer, Boa Hancock.

Plus meeting up with his former enemies, Buggy the Clown, Mr. 3, and his best friend, Mr.2 Bon Clay. Then was being saved by Emporio Ivankov, The King Of New Okama Land. He found out that Ivankov is a comrade of his father, Monkey.D.Dragon. Ivankov became more motivated to help Luffy to save Ace no matter what the cause.

They managed to save Ace but however, because of the insult that Admiral Akainu said about Whitebeard enraged Ace. However, Ace had met up with his natural logia enemy, Magma, the power of Akainu. Ace was dead in the hands of Akainu, results in Luffy's Temporary Mental Breakdown and the cries of Whitebeard's Crew. Whitebeard, Edward Newgates, fought with Akainu and managed to defeat him with half of his face being badly burned by Akainu's magma.

Ace's Last Words were he thanks his friends and family for loving him so much even though he is the son of the devil. He then slowly died in Luffy's arms.

.:Yay!! Exams Are Over!!:.

2010-03-10T16:37:00.000+08:00

Lalalala, exams are over!!!!
But... Ship system is hard. I don't know if I can pass it or not. I was trying to aiming A for Electrotechnology and B for Ship System. But at least now, it's all over so don't have to worry about it too much. For the plan in the holidays, I think I will go and find a job so at least, I can earn some money for myself and pay the school fees. Now only my mum is the one working. My dad hasn't find a job yet. I might be going to try in the shopping centers or somewhere where there are lots of people.

Deniz asked me not to stress myself too much. Hehe, I know he cares about me, but don't worry ok? I will try to make myself not that stressful. Since I am still schooling so I can't really work that long period of time. Oh and it's going to be Deniz's birthday <3 Hehe, how I wish I can be with you love. But we're far apart from each other. It hurts me when I think about that, but I know you really love me and I really love you. Almost 1 year mew... I really love you Deniz. <3

.:Feeling Sick:.

2010-03-05T16:34:00.000+08:00

I Hate Being Sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really hate being sick, and the weather is so hot these days. It makes me more irritable. Literally, I seriously hate it. My nose is blocked and I can't breathe. I could breathe through my mouth but it will make me cough and caused my nose to be more itchy. =/= I really hate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to study as well. WTF?? Sick before an examination is so fucking annoying. =/= Even now I am typing this stupid post, I feel pissed off!!!!!!! DAMNED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.:Wasted My Money To Buy Takoyaki:.

2010-03-01T16:31:00.000+08:00

I Hate Takoyaki!!!!!
It Stinks!!! With that mayonnaise. =/=

I wasted two dollars to buy myself some takoyaki to eat. It really smells... =/= I took a bite and I vomited. =/= I mean if it doesn't put the sauce or the mayonnaise, it wouldn't smell so heavy and bad to me that is. I should have told the girl not to put that mayonnaise =/= It really smells... I will never eat Takoyaki again!!!!!

.:Tiring:.

2010-02-25T16:19:00.000+08:00

Lifeskills Sucks!!!!!

Lifeskills really sucks and I am getting f**ked with it. Why do we need lifeskills to pass ITE or to get our ITE certificate? It's just utterly bullshit. It's really annoying and I am damned f**ked with it. My dad lost my job, I might not have the money to pay school fees and shits like that. What the hell!? So is lifeskills important than the Practical & Theories of Marine Offshore Technology? Damned Lifeskills!

.:Need A Job Because My Dad Lost His:.

2010-02-24T18:44:00.000+08:00

Well, as the title had said, I need to work to sustain the family. My dad lost his job because of the retrench. So I really need to find one. I noticed that my Edusave seemed to be empty already, to pay the school fee. I really don't know what to do. If I can't find a job then I am really doomed. My dad was thinking to take on cooking since it's quite easy. The hard part is that he needs to know how to make the food taste good.

I felt lost. Really I feel that way. I want to help my parents but it's tiring since I am still studying but I have to push myself. I cannot be lazy or anything. I need to find a job and work to sustain the family. I don't know when my dad will be getting a job, but I know it's not that soon, since he just lost his former work.

My nii-sama said he would send money if he can, but nah, it's ok. I will try to earn the money through hard work. I need to study and work at the same time to sustain the family so I really need to find one. It's really hard to find one since holidays are coming and people are applying the job. So I am kind of helpless...

Finished my F***king report!!!!

2010-02-23T14:20:00.000+08:00

Argh I hate project report!!! I wrote it and it was like 24 pages!!! Wa!!! ><

Stupid report! Made me almost have a fever and I felt really sick these days. I don't know why. I will get gastric all of the sudden and it is really painful. I think the weather is so hot here and I really need to drink lots of water. Q~Q

Hmm... Ne ne~ I really want to see Deniz soon. I don't know when but I really want to see him and hug him tight. But got to wait for him to graduate from his school Q~Q I really want to see him >///< Mew I love you Deniz <3

.:Boring Day:.

2010-02-19T17:54:00.001+08:00

Kind of boring today in school...

Today went to school for only one and half hour and we went straight back home. I just went to the shopping mall and checking out some bracelets. Nothing new though. I was thinking to buy a new one since I saw a blue one. Nothing much happened today.

I miss Deniz !! ><

I really missed Deniz. Yesterday he messaged me. I think he came online after I went to sleep. I don't want to tired himself since both of us are having school, plus Singapore is 5 hours ahead of Turkey's Timing. Just wish I can be with him now, so when he comes back, he will see me ^///^ I really love you Deniz, I can't wait to be in your arms <3

Chinese New Year Is Boring This Year!!!

2010-02-16T01:04:00.004+08:00

This year's CNY is really boring.

This year's CNY, nothing much happened in Chinatown. Really nothing much. Even though there were crazy people here and there but oh well. Most of them are from China and there were tourists too. Oh I saw a very very tall European or American. He is really tall!!! I mean it. He is like over 190cm. >< Should have taken a photo of him. =/=

I think is because that ITE doesn't really celebrate Chinese New Year so it's kind of empty. I remembered that Secondary and Primary schools always celebrate Chinese New Year on Friday. Most of my seniors are graduating in April. I think I will be bored to death in school.

Argh, I was so damned pissed off with my friend. She woke me up at 8am when I was still sleeping and asking me where I am by SMS me. What the hell!? I was like what the hell is she be in school so early. Then when I boarded the bus, she called me to buy her a drink, I was like wtf? I mean not even a fucking sorry from her =/=. It's really annoying.

When I arrived in school, she said that she doesn't know when I woke up in the morning, then ok, that's fine, I don't blame her for that. BUT!!!!! When she said that, she called another friend in the morning, the another friend doesn't feel angry like me. I mean come on, I am not that friend.

What do you expect me to be like her? What the hell!? I am me, I am different!!! Damned it =/= Get that into your head.